Freedom is possible
CALL OUR HOTLINE AT 877-532-6200
"I BELIEVE MY RELATIONSHIP MAY INVOLVE ISSUES OF POWER AND CONTROL. I MIGHT NEED HELP, AND I MAY NEED TO CONSIDER ENDING THIS RELATIONSHIP."
WE’RE HERE TO HELP.
CALL OUR HOTLINE AT 877-532-6200
Calling the hotline doesn't mean you have to leave your relationship, come to a shelter, or even seek services right away. If you're unsure where to begin, call the hotline. If you want to plan your exit, call the hotline. If you're ready to leave and need support, call the hotline. It’s free, available 24/7/365, and staffed by professionally trained, experts—not volunteers.
Safety planning is a crucial step in leaving an abusive relationship. While you can use the document below to start your plan, working with a hotline advocate can make it even more effective. You know your relationship best, and we respect that. However, our experience with thousands of survivors can help enhance your safety plan to suit your unique needs.
Safety Guide for Domestic Violence Survivors
FOR PERSONALIZED SAFETY PLANNING WITH AN ADVOCATE, CALL OUR 24-HOUR HOTLINE ON 877-532-6200
1. Create a Code Word and Exit Plan
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Develop an exit plan with trusted individuals who can support you. Identify at least two people you can alert using a pre-arranged code word to signal that you're in danger. ï‚·
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Consider if there is a friend or relative you can stay with if needed.
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If you decide to write down your plan, use keywords that would be unclear to your abuser for added safety.
2. Plan with Your Children
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Determine a method to quickly communicate urgency to your children. You might use a code word that signals them to move to a pre-identified safe space.
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Practice calling 911 together to ensure they know how to seek help in an emergency.
3. Pack an Emergency Bag
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Prepare a bag with essentials: extra keys, clothing for you and your children, medications, a pay-as-you-go phone, and copies of important documents (e.g., IDs, Social Security cards, birth certificates, immigration papers, health insurance, and protective orders).
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Store the bag in a safe, accessible place. If you need food or supplies but lack funds, check local food pantries, places of worship, or community resources.
4. Notify Police Before an Emergency
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Contact your local police department to inform them of your concerns. Share the history of your relationship and any fears about potential isolation with your abuser.
5. Identify the "Safest Room"
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Choose a room in your home that is free of weapons and has an exit, like a door or window, where you can retreat if needed.
6. Seek Social Support
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During times of social distancing or quarantine, feeling isolated may be more common. Reach out to trusted friends or join virtual support groups for connection and assistance.
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If you know someone experiencing abuse, make an effort to check in with them more frequently.
7. Create a Peaceful Space
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If leaving home is not an option, try to establish a calming personal space where you can take care of your mental well-being. Engage in activities like drawing, painting, or writing positive affirmations, which can also be shared practice with your children.
24-Hour Hotline: 877-532-6200
In case of emergency, call 911.
"I suspect a friend, family member, neighbor, or co-worker may be in an abusive relationship.
How can I help?
What steps should I take?"
When someone confides in you about experiencing domestic violence, your instinct may be to help immediately. However, it's important to respond thoughtfully. Here are some guidelines to best support a victim of intimate partner violence:
1. Listen with Compassion
When a victim shares their story, it takes immense courage. Your role is to provide a listening ear and an open heart. Avoid interrupting or offering immediate solutions; just being present and empathetic can make a huge difference.
2. Believe the Victim
Abusers can often appear charming and charismatic, making it hard to reconcile their behavior with the harm they cause. It’s not your job to look for "proof" or evidence of the abuse. Instead, focus on validating their experience by listening and believing their account.
3. Avoid Blaming the Victim
Remember, there is no justification for abuse. It’s common to hear phrases like "It takes two to tango," but in cases of violence, it takes only one to perpetrate harm. Avoid asking what the victim did to "provoke" the incident, as this can deepen their feelings of shame and self-blame.
4. Offer Unconditional Support
Even if the victim decides to stay in the abusive relationship, continue to offer your support without judgment. It often takes several attempts (six to nine on average) for a victim to leave an abusive partner permanently. Trust that the victim knows their situation and abuser best and may need time and careful planning to safely exit.
5. Maintain Confidentiality
The victim has chosen to confide in you because they trust you. Respect this trust by keeping the information private. Sharing details with others could put the victim at greater risk and damage your relationship with them.
6. Reach Out for Professional Help
You play a crucial role as a confidant, but professional support is vital in handling domestic violence situations. Encourage the victim to connect with local resources that specialize in domestic violence. Direction 2 Hope offers a 24/7 hotline with trained, bilingual advocates ready to assist.
Hotline Number: 877-532-6200
By following these guidelines, you can provide compassionate and effective support while empowering the victim to seek the help they need.